Knowing you, Knowing me
Credit to pinterest
Hello all out there! I’ve had a few months off from writing my The Grateful Peg entries, and well, writing full stop really. Writer’s block could be one reason behind this, but to be honest it’s not just the feeling uninspired, but I haven’t really found the energy or time. Usually in this part of the year consists of a furiously busy schedule. And yes, I have been enjoying my time now that life is ‘opening up’ again, but real life has also caught up simultaneously. In true English fashion, here I am commenting on just how fast time is going, and how I can’t quite believe it’s September already…My summer has been filled with all sorts of events: I went away to Portugal (back in JUNE! but wow that already feels like last June), my best mate threw a festival, I’ve caught up with old friends and made some amazing new ones, spent time with family after a stupidly distant first half of the year, and I’ve started a new job which I’m whole-heartedly loving; all meanwhile trying to live presently.
In true Summer fashion, many of the healthy mind and body habits that were built over lockdown have definitely laxxed a bit, and as a result, my mental health has been a little bit more haywire. This is also down to a multiple of reasons like my leg developing a sore/blister/infection (from rubbing on my prosthesis), which flares up every time I slightly overdo it, coupled with a hormonal rollercoaster I can’t quite keep in the drivers seat. I’m noticing myself deal with this in a much more calm and collected way than say a year ago however, but sometimes just because you’ve figured out how to deal with things doesn’t make the ‘things’ much less difficult. In retrospect, I’ve realised that although the Summer months are laced with happy memories and parties galore, they are historically also when my mental health deteriorates (much induced by said parties and not looking after myself, of course).
It’s coming up to two years since my accident at the end of the month, I remember it like it was yesterday, and even more so where I was mentally that Summer. I was really depressed and lost, but what happened on that day with the bus really put me where I needed to be and shook me to my core. As I’ve mentioned and what I want to delve into further on this blog, is just how much of a positive change ‘it’ brought into my life. Changing my outlook, and helping me realise just how lucky we are to be put on this planet for such a short amount of time, and of course the gratitude that then followed suit. I was at the end of my tether, a lost puppy this time two years ago, even though life seemed great on the surface- 22 years old with amazing friends and family; but what about the relationship I had with myself? Battered. Yes, since I lost my leg that day (I need to think of a simpler way to refer to that day, the day my life changed for the better), I’ve gone to the deep depths of rock bottom and back. But since then, with help of therapy, EMDR, self-help books + podcasts, spirituality and my resulting own determination to push myself, I have come out the other side. It’s not all rosy, as mentioned earlier I still am struggling with things, but we all are.
Life doesn’t get ‘fixed’, you don’t suddenly get ‘better’ and that’s that. But what does change is your ability to deal with the forthcomings of life. We all get shit thrown at us, no matter the degree. But I believe it is how we handle it and the things we put in place to help us do so that really matters. This of course does not happen overnight, it has taken me two years to get to this point and I have much more to go, as we all do with life, but wow what a change that has come. The only constant thing in it is yourself, so make that the relationship of priority, as life is full of change and complexity, filled with ebbs and flows- or as Ronan Keating so eloquently says ‘Life is a rollercoaster, we just gotta ride it’.
So I thought I’d accompany this post with another carefully curated playlist (lol) of my current songs that have been accompanying me this Summer. If you’re feeling fancy you could even go so far to say they all kinda lift yer up in their own way… if you’re like me and use music as a form of therapy, and struggling out there in need of some lifting, then I hope these tunes at least help relieve some mental tension.
Writing and Music are both so important in my life, so sitting here tonight sorting this has helped cheer me up…so thanks for reading and listening to my public therapy sesh.
[Some old favourites and some new, thank you to those who introduced some of these into my life and into my permanent library of music for the soul]
Life is a Rollercoaster, Ronan Keating
T.V Scene (Sensurround Mix), Linda di Franco
First Base Bossa, Tim Love Lee
Love and Hate in a Different Time, Gabriels
Ewe, Fabiano Do Nascimento
The Magic Eye, The Zenman
Ever New, Beverly Glenn-Copeland
~~~~~~, Hidden Spheres
The Ocean, Anchorsong and Bookend
Future Perfect, The Durutti Column
Passion, PinkPantheress
Halftime, Nas
Deja Vu, Dionne Warwick
Billy Jack, Curtis Mayfield
one life, might live, Little Simz
Bust a Move, Young MC
In the Image, Beverly Glenn-Copeland
I’m Alright in the World, BC Camplight
Man on my Mind, Cornelia Murr
Sereia Sentimental, Sessa
Who Knows Where The Time Goes, Nina Simone
Southbound Again, Dire Straits
State of Independence, Donna Summer
THE LEFT BANK, Ryuichi Sakamoto and Robin Scott
Alone - Paradise, Don Carlos
Ready to Go, Republica
Insecure Me, Soft Cell
Raspberry Beret, Prince
Til next time,
The Grateful Peg, G X
LISTEN IN ORDER FOR FULL EXPERIENCE !
