Living authentically in the digital age.
Part 1
Does anyone else put so much pressure on themselves that nothing ever seems good enough? I feel like with the opportunity to constantly see other peoples successes and milestones through the internet, we have been oversaturated with human potential. At the end of the day, we as humans are not meant to be exposed to so many different peoples lives. Technology and everything that has come after it has yes, given so many of us a way of divulging our ideas, talent and creativity; however, it also means more room for comparison, self-criticism and pressure to keep up. I for one definitely notice myself comparing my successes to those I look up to through simply scrolling social media, and almost spend more time being frustrated with myself than actually doing something about it. When I think about it, I don’t have issue with comparing myself to people IRL, I’d say I am pretty secure in who I am (I can credit this to my older sister who drilled self-love mantras into me for the last 10 years). There is that saying, ‘comparison is the thief of joy’, which is all well and good but how can people not compare themselves when we are inundated with thousands of different profiles online? I guess this has turned into a bit of a h*te speech about social media. I do think it’s a massive hurdle in ones quest for higher self-esteem. Even though I have just dumped on it, there are attributes through a creative lens that are quite positive…
Part 2
I do have a love/ hate relationship with posting on social media, hence my pockets of silence. For us to exist in the world we live in today, social media is embedded into most of us, day to day. I love visual creativity be it through photographs, videos, music or of course writing. Instagram is a great place to harness that for people, however it of course comes with putting yourself out there for others to essentially ‘judge’. I had the absolute pleasure of being on the wonderful Brooke’s podcast, ‘Disabled and Proud’ (link below) the other day. Brooke brilliantly put that Instagram is like your own shop window, and I can’t stop seeing it that way anymore, we are choosing what to display and anyone can come and see. We are sort of hanging ourselves out to dry, it’s quite vulnerable when I think about it. I always feel like I’m a walking contradiction as i want to put out my writing and other forms of expression, then when it comes to it I back out from the fear of my work being perceived wrong. I’m naturally an over thinker inside, even if it doesn’t seem it! Link this with bouts of self-criticism (see above) and that leaves lots of things being unpublished. So I’ve recently been telling myself actually you know what, it’s so cringe for people to judge others and look down on people doing something they feel special about! I’m currently listening to a song by Hannah Cohen, ‘this is your life’ and it got me thinking. We didn’t choose to come into this world at this time, engulfed in the digital age. Yes the internet does not help but if we start to shift how we view it and use it for ourselves (this is as much a reminder for me btw). We shouldn’t live by others but try our hardest to live authentically as ourselves. I babble on about it but we do really just have this one life, one take. F*ck the rest and do what makes you happy! It’s easier said than done, and to be transparent I’m writing and posting this on a day where I feel more at ease with the idea/ quite secure in myself. It’s not to say tomorrow I might find the notion near impossible, and I most certainly don’t have a good day everyday. At the end of the day all we can do is try our best; but it will make it a hell of a lot easier to get to know yourself simply by living for yourself.
~Epilogue~
This blog I guess is a time stamp of where I’m at while going through trying to grapple on to figuring it all out. Trauma has hit me multiple times along the way in my life, and it’s built me to become a stronger version of myself. The adversities I’ve faced (the Tsunami that took my dad when I was 7, and the accident which took my leg) have given me an innate realisation of how precious our existence is. I know my life purpose, even not as a career, but perhaps just overall to pass this message on and help others. Disclaiming however that this is all whilst helping myself along the way as I’m still figuring so much out along the way! We are all very intricate and nuanced beings. Don’t put yourself in a box and just follow what you want to do. For example: I might come across strong, but as a result of trauma I’ve also been left with complex anxiety, and can still be susceptible to big depressive episodes. I’m constantly trying to keep afloat day to day, as are all of us. No two days are the same, and ‘happiness’ is not an end result, but a nuanced and jagged flow we find.
I am so grateful for anyone who has been alongside this blog and thank you for actually reading it! I have so many ideas floating round, dreams and aspirations to work toward. Also just want to S/O three lovely people for having me join their creative endeavours, Brooke with the Disabled and Proud podcast; my best friend Lucy for her first ever episode on the Tairo podcast; and last but certainly not least, Tabby giving this very blog (!) a beautiful feature in the 1st edition of Fables Magazine. Thank you and I look up to you all.
Click for the Disabled and Proud Podcast
Click for the Tairo Podcast , launched today!
Click for Fables
Grateful Peg x
