BLUE MONDAY

Hello, I'm Georgia and like everyone, feeling a new case of loneliness stemming from the current amalgamation of our 3rd lockdown and general Winter blues. It is no coincidence I am writing on the official saddest day of the year- 'Blue Monday', as it was that bleak reminder which stirred me to write about my own current experience of mentally tackling the situation we find ourselves in.

I wrote this yesterday as an 'open letter' to send to friends, and with many requests to publish it further. So without further ado, here it is:

An open letter to myself, and anyone else locked down and struggling:

Sitting in the park on the day before the official saddest day of the year, Blue Monday, and admittedly feeling a bit sorry for myself as the loneliness sets in, and the affects of lockdown #3 leaving a fine imprint on my mental health- likewise the whole nation/ earthly population.
Unequivocally, were in a bit of a sh*t-show at the minute - reminded by the bleak reality whenever we switch on the news- hospitals at full capacity, death ‘ratings’ breaking records, borders being shut, and risking a fine when out on your daily walk if seen with a coffee in hand. You really couldn’t write this stuff, and if we were told a year ago this would be our reality you’d have science fiction authors slapping their knee thinking ‘damn, I wish I’d thought of that.’

With the borders closing us off to the world- it’s now not only an individuals battle of isolation, but both the literal and physical boundaries being put in place. But here I am writing to tell you, and to tell myself, that it's okay. It’s worth it. To sacrifice these times to help heal the world by shielding ourselves, therefore shielding the vulnerable. I guess it links to the theory more often used inside a gym- ‘no pain, no gain’. Sacrifice now for later. Our future selves are thanking us and are patting us on the back for enduring such a state.
But that doesn’t make the loneliness any less lonely does it? No.

With all of that being said, we’re one step ahead than where we were at yesterday. As we slowly but surely push ourselves through the lows to get to the highs. The reality we are faced with is making it difficult for us to see the black and white progress of getting through it at all in the first place. We are so lost in the carnage of it that we can’t see the bigger picture of surviving. You woke up today, and with whatever routine suit fit, you’re progressing through a pandemic which in years to come, when we are out of the shell shock its so kindly glazing over us, we can say we survived that.
As I sit here, in a eureka moment suddenly unclouded by the isolation, I realised we aren’t defined by the loneliness the lockdown is presenting us with (despite however much it feels like it is in the current moment). This is a temporary fixture as our brain attempts to dissect whatever the fuck is going on. What we have witnessed in the last year alone is enough to give anyone some form of PTSD; Wildfires. Global warming. Black Lives Matter protests. Recessions. Trumps idiocy.
So give yourself a break!

As humans it’s in our nature to crave and need social contact- a lockdown isn’t what we are programmed to enjoy/ endure. Times that would usually be spent with your piss up mates or going on sexy new dates are instead filled with failed attempts at crocheting, making marmalade or simply just scrolling through social media for 4 hours. On your own. With more time alone with your thoughts leaving your anxiety plentiful time to consume you thus spiralling into a panic attack which results in sleepless nights and attempting to practice your new found and necessary interest in calming breath work. That last part might be just a little too close to home..
So no, we are not defined by this temporary situation we find ourselves in. We are getting through each day which is enough to be proud of.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to reminisce and look back at memories of better times in fear of letting the worry spiral you into a further darkness as you compare it to your depressed today. Instead, look back at the good times to remind yourself that that is who you are - the person who loves to get down and busss down in a club (remember those?) as you rub up against a sweaty back, get raging pissed in your local stinking of a brewery, making festival friends in the portaloos, laugh so hard you wee, bathing in new cultures around the beautiful world, sing terrible karaoke in a cheap bar, and having glorious hangovers as reminders of the wonderful night you had prior (bonus point for said hangover with mates and a Bloody Mary in tow).
Look back at those times to help you have the motivation to look forward to what is to come. Which is exactly that but more (as you’ll be doing all above but with the inevitable growth this year has so KINDLY gifted).

This is a blip, a massive blip admittedly, but also a mutual blip that we are all going through. A mutually shared trauma which were still combatting.
The light IS at the end of the tunnel. In the mean time, give yourself a choccy digestive and a cup of tea cause you got out of bed today (also if you haven’t yet that’s fine to, make said incentive of cup of tea your reason to).

We’ve all got this- take It a day at a time and remember who YOU are!!!